I've been so god damned frustrated the last couple days. BF left to his dad's house for two days and left me all alone in this freezing cold basement all alone. I've got nothing to do and I hate it. Even if I had things to do - I wouldn't have the damn energy to do anything.

It's still hitting home that my one happiness in life, Gigabyte, is dead. He's gone. As if the urn wasn't enough to bring it home that he's dead...it's so quiet here and lonely. I've no money to adopt a guinea pig right now and I doubt any guinea pig rescue would even let me foster. This soul-sucking depression isn't getting better. I hate that I have to rely on others to take me places because I'm waiting on my license and that I'm not already registered for fall to attend school. I hate that I'm so lonely and pissed off that when I go to sleep, all I dream of is me going psycho on all my demons.

I'm angry, depressed, and confused. I don't know what I'm doing anymore...